The Way to “Ready”— why a writer needs community

The minute I started to share my writing life with kindred word-wanderers was the minute I started to understand the power of a writing community.

The minute I started to share my writing life with kindred word-wanderers was the minute I started to understand the power of a writing community. The writing life is solitary. But you can be “alone together” once you find the right community. Come “be alone together” at Haven Nest.

There was a pivotal moment in my writing life that changed everything for me—and it wasn’t about mastering a new technique or finding the perfect story structure.

It happened when I finally admitted that I couldn’t do it alone. 

I’d deferred from an MFA program, because I wanted to cut my teeth on life and learn my craft on my own. I told myself I was stubborn. Here’s what I truly was: scared. I didn’t know how to trust people with my writing. It was my heart language, and it felt so personal. Sacrosanct. I told myself that it had to be “ready” before I’d share it with others. The problem was that I had no measuring stick for what “ready” looked like. Was “ready” perfect? Was I struggling with a fear-driven perfectionism? (Yes. But it would take me years before I could be honest about this.)

It was some sort of cross between artistic starvation and personal punishment. But I dug in my heels. I would learn my craft alone. I would learn how to write by studying great authors and reading books about writing. But there was a major hole in my writing and in my life. When I got real with myself, and started to shed the protective shield I’d built around my writing life, I finally admitted that I needed objective, loving, honest eyes on my work. That was the way to “ready.” I didn’t know any writers, and I wasn’t much of a sympathetic character amongst my friends, who for the most part couldn’t relate with my writing obsession, nor my writing dreams. The truth is, that for the most part, no one asks us to write. We have to constantly inner champion ourselves to show up for our writing, and most of us don’t have that inner champion. We instead have a robust, and usually cruel, inner critic. And my inner critic told me, among other untruths, that I needed to do it alone.

I didn’t know how to admit to myself or anyone else that I was struggling, like so many of us, with the weight of trying to write in isolation. But after writing countless drafts of three structurally wobbly novels, I finally opened my mind to joining a writing group. It happened like most powerful confluences. I got honest and I took charge. 

I started actively asking around, and lo, other people writing in solitude showed up. Friends of friends. Sisters and brothers. Colleagues. A person standing alone after a book signing. It was energetic. Like connecting dots that I didn’t know existed. You should call my friend. She’s struggling in the exact same way. I was talking with a colleague who shared the exact same feelings just last week. I helped assemble a writing group of strangers that met loyally every Monday night for five years. That was in 1990. We are still dear kindred sisters in words. That’s what was missing: a writing community. It’s the secret ingredient. The simple act of having a group of writers who “get it” was the breakthrough I needed to write with more truth, freedom, and yes—wonder. The hole in my writing life, and my work, finally filled in with what I wasn’t willing to admit that I needed. 

Over the years, I’ve seen the same thing play out with so many people who long to write. To feel like their work is “ready.”  When we find a safe space where we can show up, be vulnerable, and share our process, something shifts. Writing becomes less about pushing through, and more about tapping into our authentic voice because we actually allow ourselves the courage to share its magic and even medicine. That’s one of the reasons I created NEST: a community  where writers don’t have to go it alone. A place, a sanctuary, where we support each other in writing with courage, curiosity, and connection.

In the coming days, I’ll be sharing more details about this space, and soon, I’ll open enrolment for those ready to join us. If you’d like to join me in a free Nest Sampler Event, I will walk you through how it works, and answer any questions you might have. You can sign up here.

November 22, 2024

7:00-8:00 EST

A free Zoom Meeting of writerly goodness for you!

Truly,
Laura

Pre-order my forthcoming book, The Wild Why: Stories and Teachings to Uncover Your Wonder